Physical
Health as Long as Possible
“So Curmudge, what will be the next big event in your life?”
“My memorial service, Julie. I do hope you plan to attend.”
“I’ll be there with bells on. I’ll even sing, ‘I’ll be glad when you’re dead, you rascal,
you.’ So when will this shindig
occur? I want to put it on
my calendar.”
“It could be next week or maybe not for several years. Who knows? In any case, it’s my next big thing. That’s probably true for a lot of my
senior citizen neighbors. It’s
been said that ‘there’s something wrong with each of us,’ but the lethality of
our ailments varies widely. Most
of us have lost a spouse, and that emotional earthquake certainly shortens the
survivor’s life. In addition, most
of us no longer have a job; we’ve written
about the impact of that.”
“Golly, Curmudge, you have lost both. You already have two strikes against
you.”
“Right-o, Julie.
Nothing can demonstrate the intrinsic value of a job more clearly than
the feeling one gets when he is fired from a job for which he is receiving no
compensation.”
“The hoof beats you hear are not a zebra, Old Guy; they are
the grim reaper (actually, one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse). What’s your plan?”
“For me, I‘d prefer that life would end like a precipitous
waterfall rather than a succession of painful grade IV rapids. In fact, that’s the topic of today’s
discussion: how a senior citizen might live life to the fullest while staying
ahead of the grim reaper.”
“I presume that this problem needs to be attacked physically
as well as mentally. We’ve
discussed most of this in past blog postings, so now we’ll pull the pieces
together and focus on senior citizens.”
“That’s the idea, Julie. We’ve observed that most seniors live life in the slow
lane. Everything I do takes
longer. My senses—sight, hearing,
touch, balance—are going to pot. I
tie shoes and button buttons slowly, and I must wait two minutes with my eyes
closed after putting in eye drops.
My senses of taste and smell are degrading, which might be a blessing
considering my diet.”
“Speaking of diet, Curmudge, we realize that one should eat
more fruits, vegetables, and fiber.
And I know that you are trying to improve.”
“Well, I‘ve put away the sugar bowl and the salt shaker, and
my carbohydrates are whole grain with lots of oats and rye. Whenever it’s convenient, I eat in the
hospital cafeteria. Because I am
unwilling to spend time on food preparation, I’m testing two powders as my
source of greens: ‘Advanced Greens Formula’ (1) and ‘Mega-8 Superfoods’ (2)
suggested by Doc Mack. But I might
starve if my microwave goes kaput.”
“I hope you are not like some seniors who neglect—or forget—to
take their prescription meds.”
“Not a problem, Julie.
I take only a few prescriptions and some supplements based on my studies
of the pertinent literature. I
follow the advice we gave in our alternative medicine postings that started on September
27, 2013.”
“What about exercise, Old Guy? It’s really important for seniors. Many years ago you did stretches and weights at 6:30 a.m.
and you jogged a mile or two at 10:00 p.m.”
“Regrettably, I now get up at 7:00 and go to bed around
10:00. So the old schedule doesn’t
work. I now jog a bit in the
basement of our apartment building and walk the steps in the building downtown
where I used to volunteer. It’s
obvious that more exercise is needed to improve my posture. At least I’m getting adequate rest,
which is important for seniors.”
“Here’s our bottom line for today, at least as I see it,
Curmudge. As a role model for
seniors, you are okay qualitatively and quite inadequate quantitatively. You are doing a lot of the right
things, but you need to do them better and with more regularity. Overall you’re scrawny, which should
help longevity, but inside you’re a Twinkie.”
“Merci, ma chère. But that’s better than a
bratwurst. So much for the senior
body. In our next posting, let’s
tackle brain health for seniors.”
Kaizen Curmudgeon
Link to posting from blog archives: Hey patients, checklists are okay. 4/29/10
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