Choices

“It used to be said, Julie, that the only things certain in life are death and taxes, but that’s wrong. Some people don’t pay taxes. The correct statement is, ‘the only things certain are death and choices.’ " (1)

 “At the time many choices are made, people tend not to appreciate their significance. For example, one’s choice of a job and its location affect the environment in which one’s children will grow up. For that matter, one’s choice of a mate impacts the very existence of one’s children.”

“Fortunately, a lot of these are two-party choices. In the distant past Mrs. Curmudgeon vetoed some of my job location choices with two words, ‘too rural.’ In many cases, if one fully comprehended the future impacts of a choice he had to make today, he would be paralyzed with indecision.”

“Curmudge, we have been reading a book about choices; it is James C. Hunter’s The Servant (2). It’s not about the kinds of choices described above. It’s about moral choices and the fact that it is up to us to make them.”

“You’re right, Julie. If I were to list the five best books that I have read in the past ten years, it would be on the list.”

“I’m not sure that you have read five books in the past ten years. But no matter how you count, it’s a great book. Without its intent being obvious, it introduces the principles of servant leadership in the form of an allegory involving six people meeting for a week with a teacher at a retreat center.”

“Perhaps we should explain why our title is Choices and not Servant Leadership. In his epilogue, Hunter includes this quote, ‘it is of no profit to have learned well if you neglect to do well.’ It is our thesis that to gain value, one must choose to put to use what he has learned. If one puts down this book and says, ‘Ho hum, that was interesting,’ he is both insensitive and foolish.”

“But Curmudge, we’ve addressed servant leadership in several Kaizen Curmudgeon postings. There were three in May 2008 and two last November, on 11/11/11 and 11/03/11. Do we need more?”

“We certainly do, for two reasons. Hunter’s 2004 book (3) was sort of a textbook, but The Servant grabs your heart and mind. The second reason is that we need to hardwire Hunter’s eight essentials of good character: patience, kindness, humility, respect, selflessness, forgiveness, honesty, and commitment.”

“Well, at least the words aren’t in Japanese. My guess is that today we’ll pick off the high points that haven’t already been addressed, and as before, quoted material will be from Hunter’s book.”

“Fortunately, Julie, all of Hunter’s words are in English, and the first one we’ll mention is paradigm. Paradigms are the psychological maps we use to navigate our way through life. ‘The outside world enters our life through the filters of our paradigm.’ You can bet that the paradigm of the traditional command-and-control manager is different from that of the servant leader.”

“I’ve got it, Curmudge. In order to improve, the traditional boss who wants to become a leader has to change his paradigm; and Hunter’s teachings describe how he can do it. For starters, the leader has to identify and meet the legitimate needs of his people, and that is what serving is all about. In case you wondered, legitimate needs are those listed, in order, in Maslow’s hierarchy: food, water, shelter; safety and security; belonging and love; self-esteem; self-actualization. Self-actualization is being all you can be. Sound familiar?”

“Let’s pick love off Maslow’s list and use it in a leadership sense. This is the agapé-type love as used in the Bible. It is the ‘love of deliberate choice rooted in behavior toward others without regard to their due.’ Agapé love and leadership are synonymous, and the properties of agapé love are that same list of Hunter’s eight essentials of good character. Are you surprised, Julie?”

“I am not; please remember that I read the book. Note also how well that list correlates with the list of characteristics that people look for in a good manager: ‘honest & trustworthy, good role model, caring, committed, good listener, held people accountable, treated people with respect, gave people encouragement, positive & enthusiastic attitude, and appreciated people.’ When we think more about that list, we realize that ‘love is not how you feel toward others but how you behave toward others.’ “

“One item on the list represents an almost universal weakness—being a good listener. ‘Active listening requires a disciplined effort to silence all our internal conversations while we are attempting to listen to another human being.’ We should attempt to see and feel things as the speaker sees and feels them, and to empathize—be fully present—with the speaker.”

“I guess, Curmudge, that requires you to do more than just turn up your hearing aid.”

“Another common oversight is neglecting to give praise to people. People need to be appreciated. Your praise should be specific and sincere. Catch people doing something right. I think I’m better at it now than I was 40 years ago, but it doesn’t mean much coming from a volunteer.”

“In the past we have managed to bring several postings on servant leadership to a logical conclusion, Curmudge, but what is the real bottom line? What should we shout from the top of the parking ramp?”

“Becoming a true leader is a choice. Servant leadership is not inborn; it must be learned and then practiced. As we have said before with different wording, ‘we are more likely to act ourselves into a feeling than to feel ourselves into action.’ (4) So here’s what to shout: ‘Servant leadership. Just do it.’ “

Affinity's Kaizen Curmudgeon

(1) Soren Kierkegaard
(2) Hunter, James C., The Servant (Crown Business, 1998)
(3) Hunter, James C. The World’s Most Powerful Leadership Principle (Crown Business, 2004)
(4) Jerome Brunner

Note: This year’s holiday story from Curmudge and Julie may be accessed elsewhere.