"Welcome to my (our) world."

“It’s unfortunate, Jaded Julie. Many of our best friends are at the extreme distant end of the political spectrum from my wife and me.”

“These days, that doesn’t leave very much for you to talk about.”

“That’s for sure. About all we can safely discuss are our children, mutual friends, and the weather.”

“Have you read Clark and Panther’s insights into differences of opinion (1)? Although their examples are from business situations, the talents they hope to develop in business leaders should be useful everywhere.”

“You’re correct as usual, Jaded Julie. A leader must respect the differences of opinion that exist among colleagues and resolve them into a productive path forward. In business they can’t be by-passed in favor of a discussion of the weather.”

“To begin, an expression of an opinion is a self-disclosure of a person who is deserving of our respect. Clark and Panther have stated, ‘Even when people’s opinions differ, the process of mutual self-awareness, self-disclosure and hearing builds bridges between them.’ The leader should listen carefully to each person’s opinion and then try to find common ground to serve as the basis for resolution.”

“To use Clark and Panther’s terms, ‘along with (the speakers’) disclosing their opinion (welcoming you to their world), they may be trying to convince their hearers that they ought to share the opinion (rearranging your world for you).’ The former sheds light; the latter tends to generate heat.”

“Curmudge, the concepts of sharing one’s world vs. attempting to rearrange someone else’s for them should be critical in personal affairs as well as in business.”

“Exactly, Julie. If we all adopted a ‘welcome to my world’ attitude, I’m certain that we would find beliefs we could share. Then we and our friends wouldn’t be limited to talking about our children.”

“It’s good that you and Mrs. Curmudgeon are in accord.”

“That’s for sure. If we weren’t, our 51 years of wedded bliss would have been 51 years (maybe fewer) of wedded stress.”

Affinity’s Kaizen Curmudgeon

(1) Clark, Keith and Panther, Mike Leadership: The Art of Empowering (Monte Alverno Retreat & Spirituality Center, 2009)

Check out the latest posting in Curmudge and Jaded Julie’s personal blog, Curmudgeon’s Wastebasket.