Father Clark's Sequence

“In an old Charlie Chaplin silent movie, Charlie was standing next to a woman, and they both were looking away from the audience. A person riding a bicycle and carrying a large package passed behind Charlie and the woman. As he did, the package brushed against the woman. She concluded that Charlie had touched her and began hitting the astonished Charlie on the head with her purse. So here, Jaded Julie, is the test: During this event, what processes did the woman experience?”

“I’ve got it Curmudge. The woman perceived something, felt that she had been improperly touched, and behaved as a Chaplin fan might expect by hitting Charlie over the head. So the three things that occurred were perception, feeling, and behavior. I guess one would say that she jumped to a conclusion.”

“It was funny in the movie but not a good idea in real life. Jumping to a conclusion is only a small part of a larger lesson: ‘A manager must be successful at managing himself before he can hope to manage others.’”

“Sounds like it’s important. I trust you’ll provide more details.”

“Of course, Julie. The details, as well as the quoted statements below, are from Clark and Panther’s book (1). The authors feel that there must be three mental steps—not one—between perception and behavior. The whole process is Perception → Interpretation → Feeling → Decision → Behavior.”

“I’ll bet, Curmudge, that this is one of those things that leaders have to hardwire.”

“Right, Julie. Let’s consider what the steps really mean. To have meaning, what is perceived must be interpreted. ‘I never feel as I do because of what somebody else did; I feel as I do because of how I interpret what I perceived of another’s behavior.’ ‘My feelings tell me that I have interpreted something as having meaning for me.’ ‘Between my feeling which prompts me toward some behavior and the behavior itself, there is a decision about what action I will choose.’ ‘My perceptions, interpretations, feelings, and decisions affect no one but myself…but my behavior has consequences beyond myself.’”

“That’s quite a mouthful, Curmudge. I’d better think through it again slowly. The steps in the process make clear what one must do to manage himself. They are a good way to avoid jumping to a conclusion or ‘going off half-cocked.’”

“Well, Julie, if the woman in the movie had known what we know now, what should she have done?”

“In interpreting her perception, she should have tried to discern whether the touch was a hand (Charlie’s, but it was holding an umbrella) or the package on the bicycle. That would have determined her feeling about the event. A better decision could have been to strike up a conversation with Charlie, and their behavior might have been walking away together, arm-in-arm. But no one watching the movie would have laughed.”

“So here’s the lesson. Taking the wrong action on the basis of a perception can cause a physical hurt, as Charlie experienced. Saying words that hurt is more likely in the non-movie world, but that shouldn’t occur with leaders who properly manage themselves. As Father Clark has stated, this process ‘can almost assure that our conversations will allow us to connect with each other rather than collide.’”

“That must be a pretty good book, Curmudge. Would you lend it to me before you forget where you put it?”

Affinity’s Kaizen Curmudgeon

(1) Clark, Keith and Panther, Mike Leadership: The Art of Empowering (Monte Alverno Retreat & Spirituality Center, 2009)

Check out the latest posting in Curmudge and Jaded Julie’s personal blog, Curmudgeon’s Wastebasket.