More about Difficult People

“Our discussion last time about your experience with difficult people was pretty depressing, Curmudge. Yet I expect that some businesses have even worse employees than you had.”

“That’s for sure, Jaded Julie. And sometimes the problem people aren’t your subordinates; they can be your colleagues and even your boss.”

“I shudder at the thought. What can I do?”

“You’re not alone, Julie. Get help from the experts in HR as I did, and keep your boss informed, unless she is the bad actor. There’s also a ton of books out there detailing how others approached their ‘people’ problems. Bell and Smith present their advice in a very short book*, and Solomon provides guidance on dealing with bosses, colleagues, and subordinates**. Here’s how each of these books categorizes difficult people:

· Bell and Smith: (1) the voice crying in the wilderness, (2) the backstabber, (3) the yes, but (4) the politician, (5) the busybody, (6) the short fuse, (7) the liar, (8) the blamer, (9) the bitter recluse, and (10) the silent martyr.

· Solomon: (1) hostile/angry, (2) pushy/presumptuous, (3) deceitful/underhanded, (4) shrewd/manipulative, (5) rude/abrasive, (6) egotistical/self-centered, (7) procrastinating/vacillating, (8) rigid/obstinate, (9) tight-lipped/taciturn, and (10) complaining/critical.”

“Wow, Curmudge! I didn’t know there could be so many types of painful people. I’ll really have to do my homework if I recognize any of these folks. Fortunately, there aren’t many of these types in the hospital, unless they are on the other side of the door in Behavioral Health.”

“In a Lean culture, I would consider the people listed by the authors as team-destroying or team-endangering. I hope that in the hospital the problems you’ll be faced with are less serious. Perhaps we can call them second-order difficult people. Here are some of the deficiencies that might be found among hospital staff: reluctance to help others, poor communication, absence of empathy, chronically late for work, resistance to change, poor technique, and carelessness. I’m sure you can make your own list that is much longer. Of course when patient safety is a concern—as in poor technique and carelessness—the problem is much more serious than second order.”

“So how do we tackle second-order problems, Curmudge? You taught me that reluctance to address a performance or behavioral issue is a failure in servant leadership.”

“It certainly is. Al Stubblefield (we mentioned his book on March 6) said, ‘You’ll never change what you tolerate.’ Quint Studer, whose book we referenced on January 14, recommended that a hospital—with employee participation—develop a set of standards of behavior. Stubblefield’s book has a partial example. Prospective employees must sign this as part of their application. Employees who cannot improve their attitude or performance in a way that meets the commitment that they signed may be asked to leave the organization. Of course before that point is reached, you should try to guide them toward doing better.”

“It sounds reasonable, Curmudge, but not especially easy. Do either of the authors have specific suggestions on how to proceed?”

“Here’s what Studer proposes we do in a meeting with a low performer:
· Do not start the meeting on a positive note.
· Describe the behavior you have seen.
· Evaluate how you feel about that behavior.
· Show how the work must be done (this may occur after the meeting).
· Make certain that the employee knows the consequences of continued poor performance.”

“It’s as you said a few weeks ago, Curmudge. ‘A servant leader can be just as demanding of her direct reports as anyone else.’ Sounds a lot like tough love.”

“That’s true, Julie. You’ve learned a lot, but I hope that you’ll never need to use it.”

“Oh, I’ll use it all right. I’m going to go home and write a set of standards of behavior for my husband. He’ll have to fix dinner for the kids when I work the p.m. shift, take me out for dinner once a week, watch only one football game per weekend, will not practice his bagpipes when I’m working the night shift and trying to sleep during the day, …”

Affinity’s Kaizen Curmudgeon

* Bell, A.H. and Smith, D.M. Winning With Difficult People. Barron’s, 1991.
** Solomon, M. Working With Difficult People. Prentice Hall, 1990. (Both books available in the Appleton Public Library.)